Week Twenty - So Far So Good

I've been surprised, you know.  The maintenance plan is a 1,300 to 1,500 diet and I haven't felt deprived.  I've felt full most of the time.  I've had a few times I've had a craving, but it's been pretty manageable - AND I've continued to loose a pound or two each week.  Wow!  Hard to believe.  In the next couple of weeks, the dietitian will give us a calorie 'prescription' to meet our weight goals.  Many folks in the group want to loose quite a few more pounds, but for me I'll be wanting to pretty much maintain my weight 'as is'.  It will be interesting to see what that 'prescription' will look like.

Last week was interesting.  I had mentioned my struggle with ice cream.  Ryan asked me to conduct an experiment - I had to buy some ice cream, serve up 1/2 cup and enjoy it mindfully.  Well, I went to the store and bought the smallest container I could find (it just happened to be Haagen Dazs, which Sue tends to enjoy).  On date night, we enjoyed this little treat - mindful eating and all.  You know, it was Ok.  Whereas in the past, I'd have served up a 1 1/2 cup cereal bowl, then gone back for at least one more bowl, instead I was satisfied with just that 1/2 cup.  Normally I'd have gone back for more ice cream night after night until it was all gone (thus the smallest pint sized container - just in case), but this time I was Ok.  A week later and I'd forgotten it was even in the freezer.  Excellent.  The next question is how often, and I haven't got that figured out yet.  More to follow.

It is a weird thing seeing photos or videos of myself or even looking in the mirror.  It's kind of like 'who is this guy?'  Not a bad thing, just kind of an odd experience.  There's this kind of reconciliation going on where I am coming to terms with this 'new me.'

Today in group we'll be talking about how to deal with restaurant eating.  That should be interesting.

Week Nineteen - Back to 100% Food

Thursday, September 10th was the last day for an Optifast shake.  It was really kind of anticlimactic.  It was really more about losing my 'bedtime snack' - which that fourth shake has really substituted for all of these weeks.  Now THAT has been a much more monumental issue!

Being back to food has required me to think about my meals, and be much more involved in planning my food day than I ever was before.  It's not a bad thing, but it has taken extra time every day.  Sue has been a big help to accommodate the grocery requests, and to keep a supply of pre-chopped veggies in the fridge - like carrots, cauliflower, broccoli.  I've been eating very simple meals throughout Transition, in order to keep a better handle on the daily tracking.  I have been full most of the time, and I've had very few significant cravings.

Leaving behind the 'bedtime snack', however has not been all that fun.

It's not that I'm hungry between 9:00 and 10:00pm - but eating around that time gives me joy and comfort.  I did go into this program with a promise to myself to keep an open mind and to 'stick with the program.'  I'm guessing that there are important reasons why the dietician wants us to not snack during this high-risk time period (high-risk for me based on my past history).  So I'm trying to problem-solve this issue.  For now, I'm eating a small, healthy snack about 5 pm, then eating my evening meal about 8pm.  Then a half hour later I'm having a piece of fruit and a cup of hot chocolate, then I'm 'done' for the day.  We'll see this week if this is a good plan.

The weekly group sessions have been talking about recipes and strategies for each of the meals - breakfast, lunch, supper.  The topic last week was about increasing exercise - this hasn't been a huge problem for me [I thought it would be at the beginning], but I know there will be challenges coming up.  Winter will require new strategies.  I will need to be diligent to maintain the exercise over the long haul - traditionally, my exercise commitment tends to peter out after a couple of years.

Week 17 – What A Party!

This past weekend was a blowout celebration party!  Eighteen months ago I shared with a wonderful group of friends that I had begun a new journey towards better health.  I had just been referred for bariatric surgery.  I have very much appreciated the support of these friends as I’ve forged ahead down this path.  On August 28^th most of these friends gathered around me in Keene, New York, to help me celebrate the success I’ve had along this new path.

I used to really enjoy hiking up mountains 'back in the day'. Nineteen years ago I started on a day trip hiking up the trail to Whiteface Mountain with my wife and two kids and a couple of their friends.   I struggled very badly because I was hauling around so much excess body weight (80 pounds) and I just did not have enough breath to keep climbing. At about a quarter of the way up, I had to turn around and go back down while the rest of the group continued up to the summit.  It was one of the worst days of my life.  It did motivate me to start going to the gym and I lost 30 pounds (which I gradually gained back over the following few years.

On August 29^th, one day before my 58^th birthday, I climbed Whiteface all the way both up and down (carrying about 25 pounds of gear) AND I also climbed a sister mountain, Esther, as a side trip. I was very nervous starting out.  I knew that I had lost a good chunk of weight and pumped up my ability to handle exercise - and I figured that I could 'probably' make it to the top okay - but I was afraid that my knees might not hold out to do the return trip back down the mountains.

It turned out to be a real victory. I was almost bounding all the way up, feeling almost like a teenager. The trip down was hard on the thigh muscles, but my knees held up very well. This trip was a great celebration of this new lifestyle that I've begun.

In case you don’t know, Whiteface Mountain is the fifth highest of 46 high peaks in upper New York state.  Whiteface is 4,867 foot elevation with a 2,535 foot ascent from the trailhead and an eight mile round trip via Marble Mountain (2,753’).  We also had enough time and energy to climb two sister mountains, Lookout (4,085’ el.) and Esther (4,240’ el.).  The trail to these mountains starts at 3,750’, so it meant that we were able to climb them by only adding 489 ft. ascent to our total.

Total workout for the day = 600 minutes hard work in an 11 ½ hour climbing day.  This was invested in covering  12.8 miles (20.6 kilometers) round trip and a total ascent of 3,024 feet (or two thirds of a mile).  Calories burned = 5,000 (or 1.4 pounds).  Map of Whiteface and Esther

It’s not so much about stats, but a few that are little signposts for me as I celebrate this new lifestyle:

• 54.5 pounds lost since start of Optifast
• 74.5 pounds lost since referral to Optifast program 20 months ago
• Size XXL to M
• Size 44 to size 32 pants

Now I'm seriously considering joining the 46er club. Wow, what a change!

 

Week Sixteen - Eating is Lots of Work

I missed posting here last week - not because of a lack of excitement - but I've been working like a dog building a porch, and I just haven't had the time to post.

I've been pleasantly surprised that I've continued to loose weight during transition (now starting week three of five transition weeks - probably due to the almost endless physical activity involved in porch building :-)

One of the biggest things I've found is that this eating thing involves lots of planning, strategizing, preparation, and problem-solving.  First we have to map out a week's food plan, then make sure we have the groceries, then pre-prepare food portions - where possible.  I am finding that this additional work is paying off though, because I have a carefully thought out plan I'm not tempted to go off and eat other off-plan stuff.

In group sessions now, we're talking about meal planning for post-transition, food preparation tips, and such things.  All very practical stuff.

Right now I am especially excited to our mountain hiking trip in one week's time.  Lake Placid and Whiteface Mountain here we come.  This little get-together with some close friends will be a wonderful celebration of both my weight loss achievement and my new healthy habits for life.  If I'm able to climb the mountain, I might be a ADK 46er in due time.

A bit more porch building to get done first....

Here is my tool belt from 3 years ago - a little too big today.

Here is what my exercise program looks like these days...

Chewing - a Unique Experience!

Ok, so a mid-week update.  Three delicious meals so far.  Remember the criteria - 3 oz. protein + 1 cup non-starchy vegetables.  I'm thinking, 'Wow, that doesn't sound like very much food'.  Well I'm here to tell you that it was plenty.  I walked away having practiced 'mindful eating' (who knew you could chew a bite of food 40 times?), putting my fork down between bites, AND even left a little food on my plate.  And I thoroughly enjoyed the meal experiences.

Friday was Thai chicken soup - no noodles and no coconut milk, but spicy and delicious!  And a rice paper wrap filled with julienned carrot, cucumber and lettuce with a dipping sauce of vinegar, soy sauce, and Splenda.  Heaven on earth.

Saturday was a leisurely breakfast on the deck.  Omelet with 2 eggs, 1 oz. ham (1 oz. is not much ham!) and 1 cup of veggies - mushroom, broccoli, carrots, peppers, etc.  Very nice - thank-you, Sue.

Today was a nice lunch salad - 1 cup of lettuce/spinach with 1/2 cup veggies (mushroom, peppers, cukes, carrots, tomato,etc) topped with 3 oz chicken seasoned with some Old Bay seasoning.  For salad dressing, I used Walden Farms brand 0 calorie/ 0 fat honey mustard dressing - 2 Tbsp.

All enjoyed with 1 1/2 cup 0 calorie sparkling mandarin flavoured water.

I was surprised by a few things:

• While the eating/tasting was great, the actual chewing part was not as exciting as I thought it would be - I've never felt deprived on Optifast and I got chewing from shaved ice in the shakes.
• I was amazed at how full I felt after each meal - not over-full, but yet stuffed and very, very satisfied.
• I didn't miss starch.  In days of yore, a meal would not be complete without a good dose of starch, maybe two different starches.  Funny, eh!  It's like my eating habits have been wiped clean - now it's up to me to choose my new eating habits.
• It took a lot of planning and work - I had to map out a week's food plan, order the groceries from my favorite shopper (thanks, Sue!), cook, clean up.  But it was social and fun to do.
• So far my stomach has not reacted badly to food - I was expecting acid reflux, IBS symptoms, etc, but nothing like that yet.  Well, there was an episode of impacted colon today (google that for fun reading, or not!), but not bad, all-in-all.

Here's looking forward to the rest of this week's meals - basically repeats of the first three.

Here's to a new and improved relationship with food - for life!

Week Fourteen - Milestones

Four important milestones this week:

1. Today the medical program is half completed.

I have mixed feelings about this – part happy that it’s half over; perhaps a bigger part is sad that it’s half over. I feel like I have so much more to learn, so many skills to practice. Three more months doesn’t seem like enough time.

2. Tomorrow I get to eat my first solid ‘meal’ in three months.

This is wonderful. This coming week is the first of five weeks of transition to solid food. Week T1 will be three Optifast shakes and one ‘meal’ consisting of 3 oz protein and 1 cup non-starchy vegetables. I think the keys here will be planning, simple ‘meals’, and avoiding food cues /'high-risk' foods. The last three months have been very easy – lots of thinking and talking about food, but the only choice has been chocolate or vanilla.  There have been no real cravings or difficult food choices – the next three months will be very full of all this, and it’s scary.  In case you're wondering, my first 'meal' will be Thai chicken broth soup - no noodles and no coconut milk, but lots of vegetables with a small rice paper wrapper with julienned veggies.  This seems like a wonderful way to 'break' 'fast'.

3. Today I weighed 165 lbs.

That’s a loss of 45 pounds. over 3 months, and 65 pounds over 19 months. I feel really good – much fitter and more energized than before. I have been very pleasantly surprised by how much weight I’ve lost. Based on the "15 to 20 percent of starting weight" that I was told at the start, I was conservatively expecting to reach 180 lbs and desperately hoping to reach 170 lbs. Now I’m beginning to think that I might even get to 155 lbs – at that point I would move from ‘overweight’ to ‘normal’ on the BMI charts! I can kind of relate to people with anorexia – feeling like ‘just a few more pounds’ and I’m good. I’ve got to really focus on the fact that I feel wonderful, and even if I don’t lose another pound I could be happy here for life. I might even put the scales in the spare room for a while.

4. Three weeks before we head out for mountain climbing.

I’m really looking forward to this time with friends to celebrate the healthy habits I’ve adopted for the second half of my life. I’m really hoping that I’ll be able to climb (and get back down) this 4,000+ mountain. It will be a real test of my fitness, and an estimate of how well I’ll be able to do hiking the Peninne Way and Hadrian’s Wall next year.

All very exciting stuff.

Week Thirteen- Grocery Store Tour

So Thursday, July 30^th was a grocery store field trip with dietician Sara.  I already knew quite a bit about reading labels, but I learned a lot more about food labelling and ‘better’ healthy choices – and it was lots of fun!

The transition to solid food was delayed one week, so we start to eat one meal of solid food per day on August 6^th – like it was originally planned.  Good – another week for good weightloss, and a bit more time to plan and prepare for transition.  We’re told that we will continue to lose weight (after some weight re-gain the first week of transition), but at a slower pace than we have been doing on full Optifast.  I suppose it was too good to last forever.

A few things I’ve noticed this week:  

• A couple times now I’ve been referred to as ‘the little guy’ and I was volunteered to stand on a table to fix a projector – nope, not a chance 18 months ago.
• A few times during the digging out of flowerbeds with big shrub roots, I’ve noticed that I miss those extra pounds when I’m jumping on a shovel, trying to get a good bite of dirt.
• On walks I’m the one that wants to walk farther instead of being the one to want to turn back, and I'm not so easily winded on walks,etc.

Not bad.

Week Twelve - What's New?

Yesterday I had my one-on-one session with the NP and she asked, “What’s changed?”  I’ve had to think about that a little bit.  Obviously, the weight loss – at an average of three pounds every week after the first week, I have lost 39 ½ lbs in ten weeks – sixty pounds since January 2014.  Excellent.  Super excellent!

I feel much better.  From silly little things like being able to bend over and tie up my shoes without it being awkward and difficult, to being able to bound up a couple flights of stairs and not be huffing and puffing.  Oh, and very exciting - I was lying in the bathtub last night after slogging wheelbarrows of soil for over two hours, and I realized that my arms fit comfortably beside my body - a year ago, they couldn't fit.  Today, I had to tighten the strap on my bike helmet - apparently I've lost significant fat from around my neck/chin.  Sue tells me I’m not snoring at all anymore.  I am not coughing as much.  Hemorrhoids that I’ve suffered with for 40 years are gone.   Sue mentioned yesterday that I’m much more positive, and she’s mentioned several times that I’m happier.  Well, I suppose if you carried around a 60 pound bag of concrete on your shoulders for 28 years and finally got to set it down, you’d be pretty happy too!

I explored the ‘positive’ comment with her a little bit more.  Sue’s thinking that I’m generally more positive because I feel better in my skin, I’m more likely to go out and do things that I might have done before, but didn’t really want to/ feel comfortable doing before.  I’m also more physically active, and that combined with my better self-esteem is making both happier and positive.  Who’d ‘a thunk it!

I’ve also got a long ways to go.  Apparently, the 100% Optifast ends on July 30^th (even though it's been only 11 weeks, and not the advertised 12 weeks) with the introduction of one tiny meal per day, then solid food comes on line gradually over the next five weeks.  I’m quite nervous.  Looking at my gut, it’s still pretty flubbery – I’m thinking that losing ten more pounds would be about perfect.  My fear (probably unfounded) is that with transition, this extra loss won’t happen.  There is fear of weight re-gain (also probably irrational, but still real to me).  And then there is fear that I won’t be able to manage cravings, and things will go south.  After talking with Joy yesterday, I’m guessing the trick will be to be very strict with sticking to ‘the plan’ AND keeping up lots of exercise during this transition phase. 

And remembering that if I don’t lose even one more pound, I still look and feel really good.  Still, I think it’s going to be a rough couple months.

Week Eleven

Working on week # 11 this week.  The scale got 'unstuck' around Wednesday, so that was nice - still averaging 3 lbs/week.  At our group session this week there was a lot of information about the upcoming transition period.  This coming Thursday I have my one-on-one meeting with the nurse practitioner, then there is only ONE more week of Optifast shakes only!  On July 31 I have my first meal since May 14!  Now I'm using the word 'meal' rather loosely here, during this first week of transition I'll have 3 shakes per day and 1 meal that consists of 3 ounces of protein (not red meat) and 1 cup of vegetables (not corn or potatoes).  In the following weeks, the number of 'meals' will increase and the number of shakes will decrease over a five week period.

I have my meal plan for the first week.  My very first meal will be Thai Lemongrass Chicken Soup with a spring roll of fresh veggies in a lettuce leaf.  How great does that sound!  <insert cartwheels>

I have mixed feelings.  Part of me is thrilled at the idea of eating.  The other part of me is terrified at the idea of eating real food.  It's not so much that I'm afraid that I'm going to pig out and go crazy, it more about fear that the weight loss will stop.  I'm thrilled with my weight loss thus far, but I'd really like to lose 10 more pounds - that would get rid of most of my tummy flubber, and I think I would feel really great.  They tell us that we should continue to lose during transition, but still it is a rather nerve wracking time. 

All I can do is hold the course - keep exercising, drinking the water, and sticking with the 'plan'.

Solid Food - Very Exciting!

This week was the start of week # 10.  My weight has stalled for 4 days now, so that's a little discouraging, but I've been averaging 3 pounds weekly since that first week of crazy-rapid weight loss - so I'm not panicking -- YET !  I'm trying to focus on how great I feel, how I'm enjoying life, and how much better I look.  Trust and patience - that's hard.

So - pretty exciting!  At our group session this week, they were talking about how to deal with emotional eating.  One of the tools that they are giving us is called 'Mindful Eating'.  Basically, it is a practice of how you eat your food.  It goes like this: (1) sit down, take a couple of deep breaths, close your eyes and 'center' yourself, (2) use all five senses and enjoy the food - sight, smell, tough, hearing(yes, listening to your food), then finally, taste; (3) Chew the bite 25 times, enjoying the taste/flavor sensation; (4) Stop after you swallow and take another couple of deep breaths, and start over.

After practicing this exercise a few times, they broke the news that we can now have solid food again - Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!  In addition to the 4 shakes and extra 2.0 L of water, we now get to eat 1 raisin per day to practice this 'mindful eating'.  I hope I don't gain weight! :-)  It's actually a pretty good exercise, and the idea is to make this a habit BEFORE we start eating regular food again.

You might wonder what Sue and I do for date activities now?  Well last night we spent the whole night going through my closets again doing a fashion show.  I try on the clothes, Sue tells me which pile to put it in!  Turns out that most of the clothes in my regular closet are now way too big to wear.  There is now a HUGE pile of clothes destined for Value Village, and another HUGE pile of clothes to be altered once my weight stabilizes.  I heard that after a certain point you can't alter clothing, in other words size 44 to 40 might work, but 44 to 34 wouldn't.  But we'll cross our fingers and hope that a lot of the items in the alterations pile will work.

This week, after the classroom/group session, Sue met me downtown at Phase2.  It's a great used clothing store similar to Value Village.  I've found that it has a better selection AND better quality clothing than V V - at least for men's - didn't check out women's.  I put money in the meter for an hour, thinking, 'That should give us plenty of time'.  Nope.  Got a ticket (well a warning) for being 45 minutes overtime.  That's a whole big bunch of clothes to try on!  Then we went to the Tommy Hillfiger store in the Outlet Mall.  We were thrilled to find the 70% off clearance racks at the back of the store - 60 dollar shirts for 18.  How about them crackers!  Talking with the clerk - basically brand new arrivals garner full price and a spot at the front; then after a couple weeks, they go to the middle sections at 30 to 40% off; after a month, they go to the clearance rack.  Okay, so I can wait a month.  A year ago I couldn't wear anything in the store because I was just too big - their XXL was way too small.  Now I can wear anything in the store, mostly in medium, but I tried on a small shirt and it fit perfectly.  Basically, with men's clothes I'm convinced that the person on the assembly line who has the job of slapping a label tag on the article of clothing just picks size labels at random!

Anyhoo.  We came home with a trunkload of clothing.  I even have clothes in the 'skinny closet' again, so I should be good for a few months. Thankfully, my amazing wife has worked hard to preplan the finances involved in this 'clothes rental' scam - you know, buy, wear, discard, repeat.

It has been a truly remarkable journey over the past two months.  I feel so much better, and I'm learning new tools for success.  So even though it feels like the scales are broken this week, I have to grit my teeth and believe that they will unstick soon, and enjoy the 'new me' in the meantime.

Week 9 - Things Are Different

There was an exciting number change this week.  When I started my weight loss journey, eighteen months ago, I was clinically morbidly obese.  This week I moved from obese to merely overweight.  If you believe in statistics, this means that I've got a good chance of living an additional 10 years and have fewer serious medical problems.  Fifty pounds lost over 18 months, 30 of those since day # 1 of Optifast!

Practically speaking, I'm having a lot fewer asthma episodes and shortness of breath.  Much less back and knee pain from arthritis.  Less acid reflux.  My blood pressure has lowered.  My blood sugar and triglycerides are well within normal.  Fewer headaches.  And most of the hair has grown back on my head!  Well maybe not the hair, but I sure feel better and tons more energy.  Good news - I am wearing some medium size shirts and some 36 size pants.  Bad news - I'm all out of skinny clothes, and busy shopping.

Very few side effects .  On the recommendation of the NP, I started taking a probiotic capsule - back to great intestinal health.  Practically never hungry.  Very rare cravings.  Amazing.

The past couple weeks' group sessions have been about managing conditioned behavior and the importance of exercise.  Apparently most cravings start to subside in 8 minutes, so if you can engage in an alternate activity for 15 minutes, you're home-free.  There's been lots of talk about recognizing that you're at a choice point and have your alternate behavior (like take a short walk) planned out ahead of time.  Another interesting thought was that a slip is not failure, but a "first attempt in learning".  A big theme in this program is 'plan, plan, plan'.

As far as exercise, it's important.  Eighty-five percent of dieters who do NOT exercise regularly regain the lost weight within 2 years.  I set a goal of exercising 30 minutes a day 6 day out of 7 days.  So far I've exceeded that by 50% most days.  This has been a particularly high activity weekend - biking at Pres'quile for 2 hours Saturday and 3 hours of kayaking on Saturday to celebrate 34 years married.  When I started, exercise was a chore, now it's actually comfortable and fun.

Milestones and Terror

Well, I suppose 'Terror' is a little overly dramatic, but tomorrow marks a significant milestone in the medical weight loss program: (1) The shakes-only portion is half over; and (2) the medical weight loss program is one quarter finished.

You'd think that I'd be thrilled, you know, in a kind of, 'Yeahaw - Only six more weeks before I get to eat some solid food' kind of way.  Well, there IS that!  But there are also the gnawing thoughts: (1) 'What if I can't handle food, and gain weight back - like all the other times'; and (2) 'Oh no, there are ONLY 6 more weeks left - what if I don't lose the weight that I want to lose?'

I guess I'll just have to close my eyes and try to just trust that the medical program will work. It's hard though - very disquieting.  Perhaps I will have to lock the scales away in the spare bedroom so that I'm not tempted to step on every day - the joy of seeing a sliver of weight come off is WONDERFUL, but it's hard when days go by and the scale is frozen in place!

And I guess there's something I was reminded by a fellow Optifaster - I feel fantastic and look good, even if I didn't lose another pound!  I'll try to cling to that and be patient.

Week Six

Well, the weigh-in scales continue to favour me - it's been averaging 3 - 4 pounds per week.  Every once in a while the weight stalls for 3, 4, 5 days, but eventually it starts to fall off again.  The trick is not to get discouraged, but trust that the lifestyle changes will pay off.

My closet of  'skinny clothes' is starting to get a little sparse.  I've started to collect frequent flyer miles at stores like Value Village and Phase 2 - it's amazing how often you can find brand new clothes if you look diligently.  When I shop, I'm looking for sizes that will fit me in a few weeks - that way I'm constantly re-building my 'skinny closet'.  I've had to start getting ready to go places 10 minutes early - sometimes I have to try on multiple 'outfits' before I find one that fits And I've got two rapidly growing piles: one for taking for alterations after my weight loss stabilizes, the other to donate back to Value Village - sort of a clothes rental scheme!

Today was a little difficult - I went out for lunch with a buddy from work who didn't know what I'm doing.  I planned to order a pot of green tea, so I sucked on water an tea while he ate - I wish I had a photo of his face when I ordered!  We had a great conversation about healthy habits, and it felt really great to be able to do it.

Physically, all is well but I've had some increased abdominal cramping the past 2 weeks, so I decreased the Benefibre and started on a probiotic capsule daily.  Seems to help.

In group this week we talked about building our support team.  I'm grateful to have a wonderful bunch of people around me, but I need to examine if there are support pieces missing and figure out how to ask for help and assert myself if I need to do that.

A special shout out to my # 1 supporter, through 'thick' and 'thin' - literally- my # 1 partner, Sue Aiken.

One Month In

I was going to write, "One Month Down", but that isn't right; the latter implies that it's a bad or difficult thing and that there's an end.  "One month In" denotes that we've embarked on a lasting, life-long journey of lifestyle changes - changes for a bright future of fun and health!

I can't believe the change that a month can bring, and it's not just that people are starting to notice the pounds coming off.  I've been exercising at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity almost every day - and NOT hating it!  Sue mentioned the other day that I am really happy.  I hadn't really thought about it, but I am.  Even times when a few days go by and the scales aren't so kind.

One of the highlights of this week (and there were several), was rollerblading for about an hour with Val - and not being totally gasping for breath like days of yore. 

And I'm beginning to dream.  I'm hoping that when I get down to my 'best weight' that I'll be able to go mountain climbing - something that I love, but haven't been able to do for a few years.  We'll see.  And if it turns out I can't, well roller blading is pretty awesome!

Week Three - New Ways of Thinking.

Well, 3 1/2 weeks actually on shakes only.  It's always curious how the week will go in terms of weight loss.  This was a good week with another four pounds coming off.  I keep worrying that one of these weeks the weight will stop dropping off, but so far so good.  I'm sure that exercise is helping keep on track.

It is funny all the things that I am rethinking.  Body image.  It is great to see this thinner guy in the mirror, it's nice to be able to do things like bend over to tie up shoes more easily.  OTOH it is taking some rethinking about who I really am.  Exercise.  I am slowly beginning to rethink exercise - for years I have dreaded it, but lately it is becoming more fun, and I'm starting to plan exercise and even think about new sports and activities.  Like we met up with some friends at DQ and I decided to go by bike, NOT by car - and it was fun!  Washrooms.  I'm thinking quite differently about washrooms - when you drink 4 to 5 liters of water (2.0-2.5L water added to the shakes, plus 2.0 to 2.5 extra water n top, you REALLY have to plan your day around toilet availability!  Hope.  For 3 decades I had pretty much lost hope that I could ever get down to a healthy weight.  With the valuable information I've been getting, I've become hopeful that I can get to a healthy weight and keep it off.
 
And I'm coming to think differently about food.  Somehow, it is pretty nearly impossible to thing objectively about food and eating when it is readily available.  When all you have to think about is 'chocolate or vanilla?', it's easier to think about things like 'why do I eat?'  This week in group we were examining the concept of conditioned eating - basically eating out of habit.  I've known for a while that my worst times for overeating is 9-10 pm.  Another time is social events where there are lots of munchies about.  They say that in a few weeks they will give us ways to cope with this mindless eating.

Stay tuned...

Metamorphosis

It's been an interesting ride.  It seems to be slow, but it's like a new me is emerging.  For 30 out of 40 adult years I've been known by others (silently) as the 'big guy'.  Now I'm shrinking - I can look into the mirror and not be disgusted with myself.  I'm wearing clothes that for 20 years have been my 'skinny clothes.'  People are coming up and complimenting me, saying that I look good.  I'm able to exercise more vigorously than I have for a long time.  It's all kind of strange, and it's going to take a while for me to get used to 'the new me'.

Yesterday, Sue commented that I was "happier".  Well, I suppose it's true, but I hadn't really realized it. 

Today was a little interesting - it was communion at church, so I take the little cracker piece and without thinking, popped it in my mouth and started chewing.  Then it dawns on me -'ooops, I'm not supposed to be chewing, so I had to spit it out into a Kleenex.  Thankfully we don't believe in transubstantiation ;-)

I also left my bottle of water in the car, so instead of slowly sipping my first litre of water while leisurely sitting in church, I had to pound down 2 liters in 5 hours.  Note to self, if you choose to do this and you go out to do some errands, be very aware of where the washrooms are - fun times.

Exercise

It has been difficult for me to get moving.  I enjoy walking and cycling with Sue - that seems fun to me.  I find I don't really enjoy the gym.  Basically it seems I don't like to exercise alone.  The program is very clear - I need to get in aerobic level exercise almost every day.  It has been hard for me to accept this - I'd really like to fool myself into thinking I can do this without, but I know I can't keep fooling myself any more.

I've set a goal to do 30 minutes of brisk to vigorous activity 6 out of 7 days each week.  Now I've got to figure out some ways to do this nights when I'm by myself.

Tonight I was alone.  I decided I would bike as soon as I got home from work.  Thirty minutes later, I had finished a refreshing ride.

Success - yay! 

Week Two

Health check and official weigh-in today.  Apparently my blood sugars and triglycerides are only slightly above normal already.  Wow.  Encouraging.  Total official weight loss over past 2 weeks = 10 lbs 5 oz, also good.

Group session was about how to set goals that support weight loss - focusing on healthy habits rather than numbers.  Lots to think about.

Fewer symptoms of ketosis this week - occasional bad breath and minor headache. Very tolerable.  The worst thing is feeling like you have to pee most of the time - all the time.  I've finally got a system that lets me mostly sleep through the night without trips to the potty - shake 1, then 1.0 L water before 'lunch', shake 2, then 1.0 L before 'supper', then no extra water.  Seems to work, but it puts a lot of pressure on the bladder during the day ;-)  Apparently the extra water is to prevent wrinkles and stretch marks.

I've had a few cravings, like when we were walking in the mall today and the smell of Kernels popcorn was heavy in the air, but they don't last long.

In many ways, the shakes and water only plan is very reassuring - no need to worry about weighing/ measuring food, or making good choices, etc. Somehow chocolate or vanilla is much simpler.  Somehow it's easier to analyze your feelings about food when your distant from it.

It was a little stressful this week when the pound-a-day loss slowed to 1/2 lb. per day.  I start worrying that I'll plateau right away, like I usually do.  Time to remember to focus on healthy habits and try not to think as much about numbers.

A number of people from different areas of life mentioned they notice my weight loss - very motivating to stay strict.  I don't hate seeing myself in a mirror quite as much.

Lots of motivation, hopefully it will keep me motivated to get in my daily exercise this week...

About Relearning

Today it felt very odd, and uncomfortable, to whiz right by Tim Horton's on my way home after conducting chapels at the jail in Napanee.  I always stop to pick up a Timmies and 2 timbits on my way back - the coffee soothes my raspy throat, and timbits - well that's just a treat.

I was thinking a bit about my relative success on the Optifast plan thus far, as I'm driving 'sans Timmie'.  One of the main reasons for the meal replacement plan is about 'Stimuli Narrowing'.  It's kind of like resetting the brain, so all of those subconscious food-related habits can be reversed.  It makes it a little easier as I'm sailing by Tim's to think on the benefits of this 'Stimuli Narrowing'  You can read more about it here 'Stimuli Narrowing'

One of the challenges they gave us at week 1 group session was to encourage us to keep an open mind.  I'm trying to do that, and adhering strictly to the 'just Optifast + 2 extra liters of water + some daily exercise, and I'm wondering what my food life will be like once I finish the Optifast plan.  One of the self-study questions for this week is the questions: "Is there anything that you wouldn't be willing to change to your 'best weight'?"

Suddenly I'm thinking things like, "Wow, would I be willing to completely avoid ice cream, if I need to do that?"  "Am I willing to exercise more than 30 minutes a day, if that's what it takes?"  "Am I willing to avoid potato chips?"  I don't know what will be needed to keep my weight down to my 'best weight' yet, but these are heavy questions to think on.

There is a certain kind of security that comes from having a strictly prescribed 'eating regime', but there certainly is a lot of uncertainty and trepidation that comes from not knowing what my future eating and exercise will be like.

Week One

Well, it's been a wild ride this week.  Only 11 weeks of Optifast only to go!  Seems like an eternity now, but I'm sure I'll blink a couple of times and we'll be done.

Certainly had some significant weight loss this week - 8 lbs by my scale first thing in the morning, and 5 lbs by the clinic scale - either way it's all good.  This morning I got dressed for work and my pants were puckering at the waistline, so quickly went 'shopping' in my 'thin clothes' closet and found some pants that looked good.  A month ago my size 44 pants were just a little loose and size 42 pants were out of the question.  Today, all my 44's are on a shelf to be altered once I'm down to maintenance weight.  I'm wearing size 42 and I can squeak into a couple pairs of size 40 pants.  Very exciting.

I stopped by Value Village after group session, looking for a new, smaller, belt - no luck today.  I figure I'll be spending quite a few shopping sessions at VV over the coming months.  Once I get down to a stable weight, then I'll go shopping for real.

The weekly group sessions have been informative.  This week we talked about 'ideal weight', 'wish weight', and 'best weight.'  The concept being that it is not so realistic to try and squeeze ourselves into what might be a medically perfect weight, that would unfortunately require so little calories and so much daily exercise that we wouldn't likely stick to it for very long - then give up and gain most of it back again.

At this point I don't have a firm weight loss goal.  They keep saying that most participants lose 10 to 20 percent of their starting body weight.  I'm hoping that if I stick to the program 100% that I'll end up closer to the 20% mark.  That would put me 160 - 170.

I'm not having a lot of problems staying away from food.  The meal replacements, Metamucil, and extra drinking water leave me quite full most of the time.  Sometimes it is even a bit hard to drink the next shake at the 4 hour mark because I'm so full.  It has required a bit of daily planning though - I have to have my shake powder, shaker container, and cold water - which is fine if I'm at home or work, but a little tricky if I'm travelling or like the other day doing staff training off-site.

Drinking enough water is difficult, and requires careful monitoring.  Today, for example, I was crazy busy at work and by 11:30 am I had only drank 500 ml instead of the requisite 1.0 L, so I quickly guzzled 500 ml plus my lunchtime shake.  Youwzers - driving down Johnson Street in Kingston, I wasn't quite sure I'd make it to the parking lot and get to the hospital washrooms in time :-)  Note to self - pace out the water, Steve.